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A Supply chain/Customer service Annalyst , fun to be with, compassionate and intelligent.i love to inspire and motivate people and i am passionate about counselling.

Monday 5 March 2012

How To Increase Your SELFCONFIDENCE


Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matters in those skills areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we will succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.
This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we cope with what’s going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we are competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.
Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality, the more confidence you have, the more likely it is you will succeed.
Self-confidence can also be referred to as
assuredness in your own worth, abilities and power, regardless of the situation you are in. Someone who is self confident has a strong sense of belief and certainty in himself/herself. He/she exudes calmness, composure and is self-aware.
Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.
After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that’s being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic.
On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.
Self-confidence people inspire confidence in others: their audience, peer, bosses, customers and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.
For the next one minute, think about how you see yourself. How much self-confidence do you have of yourself on a whole? How confident do you feel regarding your work? How about when you are with your friends? Your partner if you have one? Your family? How confident do you feel when it comes to your finances? How about other things, such as making a presentation at school/work, talking to a stranger, or even public speaking? Do you feel confident in yourself in all of those situations? Do you feel confident regardless of the situations you are in?
A person who has a lack of self-confidence has a lack of self belief, usually caused by a sense of uncertainty about one thing or another.
TYPICAL BEHAVIORS OF PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE
1.      Staying in their comfort zone, fearing failure and so avoid taking risks
2.      Working hard to cover mistakes and hoping that they can fix the problem before anyone notices.
3.      Governing their behavior based on what other people think
4.      Dismissing complements offhandedly
5.      Undervaluing what they are capable of
6.      Taking blame even when it is not their fault
7.      Overly critical of themselves, for example neurotic perfectionists
8.      Being hung up over negative outcomes and failures in the past
9.      Preoccupation with the negative outcomes and failure even though they have not manifested yet
1.  Having a fearful and adverse attitude towards most things

People with low self-confidence tend to repel people around them. Their limiting mindsets and behaviours make them feel heavy and a drag to be around.
Lack of self-confidence is a crippling trait because it often limits you in your opportunities and jeopardizes your chances of success, which leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Imagine you have a project you are tasked with. Say you lack self-confidence and you predict you will not be able to deliver to expectations. What do you think will happen next? This lack of self-belief is going to influence the thoughts and actions that you undertake, both on a conscious and subconscious level. When you are constantly thinking about a negative outcome, it takes your focus off what you should be doing to achieve a desirable outcome. This eventually leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because an undesirable outcome is manifested, your belief gets enforced and you continue to have low, if not lower, self-confidence.
On the flip side, what if you are a self-confident person placed in that exact same scenario? What do you think will happen? Chances are, things will pan out differently. Because you are certain of an imminent success, you do everything needed to make it happen. If you do not have the skills, you will acquire it. If you do not have the knowledge, you will learn it. If something completely unprecedented happens, your confidence somehow taps into your subconscious for the solution. This sets you up for success, which subsequently enforces your self-worth, leading you on to more success. Even though you may have started out from the same spot as others, just having the self-confidence will take you much further than someone who does not have it.
Thus, having self-confidence is clearly an asset to you in life. Not only does it put you at a better and more positive emotional and mental state, it also sets you up towards getting what you want. Having self-confidence enables you to fearlessly pursue your biggest dreams. It equips you to conquer your challenges, no matter how insurmountable they may seem to others. It sets you off to live your greatest life possible.
However, most people have low self-confidence because of past events in their lives which led to that state of mind. This lack of self-confidence puts them in an endless cycle where they attract results they think of, and that reinforces their state of self-belief.
How can we then break out of such a cycle? ( Celestine Chua: Personal Excellence)
How to Increase Self-Confidence
Ø  Dress Sharp
 Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about      himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance; dressing smartly, looking presentable, having a clean and kempt look.
Ø  Body language:  one of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step.
Also, the way you carry yourself matters, by practicing good posture you will automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, make eye contact, Walking confidently, Speaking confidently, Being calm and composed, Holding your head up, having a good posture, Smiling. You will make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
Ø  Mental techniques: Positive thinking, Visualization of positive outcomes/scenarios, focusing on your strengths rather than weaknesses, Repeating positive mantras
Others: Listening to upbeat music, exposing yourself to inspirational materials, e.t.c
Ø  Acquiring Symbols of Worth: work within yourself to address the gaps that are making you feel low in self-confidence. This is the more practical approach to increasing self-confidence.Self-confidence is often linked with the possessing of certain knowledge, skills or abilities. Many people lack self-confidence because they feel they lack a certain competency. For example, if you have low self confidence in your job, it may be because you are lacking the information and know-how to perform well. People who have a high level of competency in a certain area often develop a high self-confidence in that area as a result.
Competency in anything can always be developed via preparation, practice and experience. The key to developing competency is to engage in knowledge acquisition and repeatedly do it to the point of satisfaction. For example, if it’s an academia subject, read up as much as you can through different sources. If it’s a sport or technique, keep training every day. If it’s giving a presentation or public speaking, continuously practise in front of different audiences to build up the skill sets. If it’s something social like talking to a stranger, just start with small goals of talking to one stranger every day, then build up from there when it gets progressive easier. Eventually, you will find yourself so competent in the area that you become naturally self-confident in it.
Ø  Gratitude: when you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weakness. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You will be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
Ø  Compliment other people: when we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. In the process, you will become liked and build self-confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
Ø  Speak up: During group discussions many people never speak up because they are afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you will become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
Ø  Focus on contribution: Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you are making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about your own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you will be rewarded with personal success and recognition
TIP
Balanced self-confidence: self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.
If you are under-confident, you will avoid risks and stretch yourself; and you may not try at all. And if you are over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you are so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.
Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of self-confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.
As you can see from this article, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Self confident people are more positive - they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the fullest.

1 comment:

  1. So informative things are provided here, I really happy to read this post, I was just imagine about it and you provided me the correct information I really bookmark it, for further reading, So thanks for sharing the information.
    building self confidence

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